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Why am I so Anxious?


Often Client’s come to me and in fact people I meet in general and tell me that they are ‘anxious’ or an ‘anxious person’ or that they ‘suffer with anxiety’, it is not often that I hear people ask- ‘What even is anxiety? Or ‘Why am I experiencing anxiety?’ Or ‘Why do these feelings or anxiety impact my life so much?’ And yet when we do ask ourselves these questions we can begin to understand anxiety for ourselves, once we understand our mind and body that is when we gain a sense of control and take a step further on the healing journey.

What is anxiety?

Although anxiety can feel like an enemy and can be debilitating, it is actually a response that we need. In human development anxiety was needed for survival, whilst I am not an evolutionary expert I can share my own understanding, which is that we evolved with anxiety being a human safety mechanism. An example I share with clients is that- back in the times we lived in caves there were many threats to our survival, possibly before we could use language and had refined cognitive ability it is probable humans acted on emotion and bodily sensations; if a tiger were about to attack, anxiety would kick in, telling us to fight or flee. As I shared I am not a scientist but you get the picture! The issue is that in everyday life it is not likely that a tiger is going to attack us, yet we can still respond from the same level of danger that the brain signals to the body. Anxiety can be complicated, past trauma can mean that our brain becomes hyper aware of situations, often perceiving danger when there may be none. I now like to look at anxiety as my brain is working! Sometimes we need to have a chat with our brain to let it know we are safe and that anxiety does not need to respond in such a way. If you have experienced anxiety you will know that it is not always as simple as having a chat with your brain (trust me, I get that) but it can be a good start. The next step is healing from the past trauma and the past anxiety attacks, essentially it is about learning to feel safe and encouraging your mind and body to rebuild a trusting relationship with one another.

What does anxiety feel like?

I am aware I am about to generalise here (I do that a lot) and I am also aware that individual differences mean not one hat fits all…however as this is a post and not an individual session I feel it may be more beneficial for you the reader for me to give a broad perspective (that also ensures I do not waffle on too much, which you may have gathered is something I also tend to do).

Anxiety is typically a combination of feelings and bodily sensations- whilst these can vary for individuals, common signs include: feeling extremely nervous, rapid breathing, sweaty palms, fast heartrate, digestive issues, trembling, sweating, breathing difficulty, feeling incredibly tense and fatigue. This list is not finite, there are many symptoms and feelings associated with anxiety that can present differently in each individual.

Anxiety can feel crippling at times, both emotionally and physically and it can impact our lives greatly.

Suffering with anxiety can feel isolating and frightening and for some people it will co-exist with other metal-health problems such as depression, suicidal ideation, OCD and many more.

Why do I struggle with anxiety?

I use the word struggle in the sub-heading as I have mentioned that all human’s experience some level of anxiety; it is when the anxiety becomes difficult to manage and when we do not understand what is happening to us that it can become a real struggle.

There are many reasons why anxiety may affect us more than it may appear to affect other’s. Anxiety is not always ‘rational’ it can be a response to environment, circumstance, poverty, relationships and commonly trauma and repressed emotions.

How do I deal with anxiety?

As I have shared anxiety is useful, it is not about eliminating the ability to experience anxiety altogether, it is about learning to cope with anxious thoughts and feelings and also to be able to understand ourselves and our own underlying issues that may be triggering anxious episodes.

There are lots of ways in which we can move forward on a journey of healing and growth.

Self-care is a huge element in our well-being and by that I do not suggest that a face-mask and a glass of wine will solve everything, self-care is not something we can simply buy- it is to care for ourselves, to nourish ourselves and to value ourselves- of course if a face mask helps you to feel valued then go for it! Self-care is linked to self-validation, ask yourself: ‘What do I need right now?’ and ‘What do I want?’.

Therapy can be a great way of exploring ourselves and can provide a safe environment to help us discover our core emotions, with the support of a therapist it can be that we are able to heal our wounds and also to find the tools that suit us to manage overwhelming anxiety.

For further information about the therapy I offer: please contact me via email at

Or alternatively you can contact via the website for True Therapy.

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